Own up to it
Denying that you strayed from your relationship will only make your partner angrier and more frustrated, so be a grown-up and tell the truth if you’ve been caught cheating. If she has learned what has happened, there is no point in lying about it.
If anyone wants to be with you, decide on your own.
It’s up to you whether you want to repair the relationship or not, so do not let your squad or parents make the decision. Only you know what’s best for yourself and what will work going forward after you’ve been caught cheating.
Pursue counseling
Don’t dismiss seeing a therapist: It’s totally normal to seek professional help from an objective, nonjudgmental, third party if you’ve been caught cheating. While, of course, the counseling may have been more beneficial before you cheated, doing so now will give you understanding and insight into what happened and why it occurred.
Hide the evidence
That means you should throw away or destroy sexts, voicemails, receipts, or anything else related to the affair because your partner doesn’t need to know all the details of what went on. It will only make her feel worse.
Don’t involve the kids
If you have kids and you’ve been caught cheating, keep the situation between you and your partner. Your kids shouldn’t feel like they must choose between the two of you, because no matter how old they may be, their role isn’t to be your therapist.
Don’t try to go back to how things were
Something needs to change for you and your partner to move forward; how things were obviously wasn’t working, otherwise, you wouldn’t have been caught cheating.
Don’t blame your partner
No one likes to be blamed for something and she will only get defensive if you do blame her. You made the conscious decision to cheat. Therefore, you’re 100 percent to blame.
Take ownership of what you did and apologize for your actions.
Don’t rush the process
As you try to figure out what to do next, take your time. Don’t pressure yourself to decide quickly about what to do. And don’t urge your partner to forgive you immediately.
Don’t involve family and friends
Yes, you may want to tell your fam and BFFs what’s happening, but if you do, be prepared to field everyone’s opinions—including ones that you may not want to hear. Loved ones may be devastated that you were caught cheating and turn their backs on you, they may lay on the guilt, and they could make you feel even worse. Consider keeping things between the two of you.
Don’t assume the relationship is doomed
It’s not a given that your relationship is kaput, even if you’ve been caught cheating. Assume that you will stay together—as long as you’re willing to put in the effort to repair your relationship. You can correct them, making your relationship better in the long run.
