RELATIONSHIPS: Will you get some? Here’s one way to find out

I have this friend of many years who shared this wonderful wisdom. His grand idea of an effective pickup line was blunt at the best of times.

At the worst of times, and depending on how recently the recipient had visited a church, it was a pickup line that could also be described as gross.

So Danny, my friend, would introduce his intentions with something along the lines: I want us to go out, but we can go home, have sex and go out, OR we can go out, go home and have sex.

The key was for him to always give his prospects two choices that PRIMARILY worked for him. That would be the end of his proposal. By his testimony, it worked sometimes. Obviously, it would fail a lot of time.

It would have too. It wasn’t just too blunt; it was/is something that most of the girls you are going to try to interest in visiting your house will never have been confronted with.

Let’s be honest, many guys would rather go around in circles proposing stops at the bar or the club where the grand plan would be to get the girl tipsy enough to want to give it up.

But imagine the bar or club option is not an obvious option. Say, this is a chick you work with at the office, and you are not necessarily blessed with panty-wetting charm? There is also the possibility that you are not in a position to spend liberally and hope that things eventually work themselves out.

Your next best bet then is to use some of Danny’s advice. What Danny’s sex now or sex later pickup line does for you is that it helps to eliminate all doubt in the mind of the other person as to what your real intentions are.

Of course, girls know that 95% of the guys chasing them are doing so to get laid, but either party will most times pretend and go around in circles depending on how much money the guy has available to blow, or how kind, considerate or horny the girl being chased is.

If she accepts to fall in, she has basically accepted to the terms of the evening, and all the awkwardness has been taken care of. If she is hesitant, it is still a win for you, because you then know not to have your own expectations so high up.

If she says an outright no, you know you lost your opportunity to get laid yes, but at least you didn’t waste your time or your money.