For some reason, our society still has a tough time embracing the idea of a marriage proposal initiated by a woman. When talking about women who have boldly gone to where not so many have dared to go and proposed to their partners instead of waiting for them to pop the question. The obvious question that comes to mind is; ‘How did she do it?’ It is not so long ago when pictures of a young girl who went on her knee to propose to her man, who everyone thinks is old enough to be her father, were making rounds on social media. It is still a shock to many as most women agree that it takes balls (huh), yea, balls, to do that. See, in most relationships, the onus is still largely on a man to decide when to propose and get married.
Perhaps not if you are a young aspirational lady with a (possibly loaded) Mzungu man to lock down. If that is your story, then you are sure to be among the women completely balking at tradition by handling everything from buying rings to organising public engagement parties to make it known to their partners that they want to spend the rest of their life with them.
Is it okay for women to propose?
“I would not propose to a man. If I feel we have spent quiet a long time together and he is not saying anything, I leave him and move on. Proposing first for a lady shows some kind of desperation,” says Doreen Mukama. Just like Doreen, a number of women and men are still stuck with that weird mix of thinking that the tradition of men proposing is supposedly romantic or it robs a man of his masculinity.
Herbert Lubega on the other hand sides with the idea of ladies proposing. “I do not see any problem with my girlfriend asking me to marry her. Sometimes men are ready only that they are a little scared of the outcome and a woman proposing may save the day.”
You might think it is sexy when a lady shows her level of seriousness as far as determining her future is concerned. We can all agree that there is no religious or ethical reason why women cannot propose, but it has always been like that for ‘some reason’. We cannot play the culture card here either, as culture is dynamic and changes every day. That young lady showed you the way with her Mzungu grandfather, so you can now go on and lock down your younger boyfriends this 2018.