A guy friend in his mid-30s, let’s call him Michael, has had at least three girlfriends every year over the last 10 years and this is no exaggeration.
If “girlfriend” number 1 for 2016 didn’t make the cut because she went to the “wrong” church, in came girlfriend number 2 who was deemed too short. So Michael ended up undecided over who to choose; the graceful Melissa who cooked like a professional chef but went to a “biwempe” church, or an enchanting Cynthia whose height automatically disqualified her from playing basketball.
This is not in any way a unique challenge for people that are dating to find themselves in. In business circles, there is a phrase for this state of affairs and that phrase is analysis paralysis.
Analysis paralysis is where you over-think a situation so much so that you never even make a decision. It isn’t something restricted to business by the way. It happens to the best of us every now and then in life but seems to bite hardest in relationships.
What analysis paralysis does to your dating life is to make you think of a million possibilities at ago, while filling you with one million and one fears at the same time. So here you are being totally in love with his baritone, yet at the same time you are not sure if your parents in Kabale will accept a man from Tororo for a son-in- law.
And to cloud your judgment even further, there is this guy at office whose sense of humour just blows you away. And, ah, that guy you’ve had an on-off affair with since your campus days. In short, analysing this whole situation is now leading you to the point of paralysing the outcome.
For many a guy or girl, it could be the reason they are still single, are in the friend-zone or always jumping from relationship to the next. Having to deal with questions like; “What if she rejects me, what if he just breaks into laughter, what if she accepts and she’s a log in bed, what if she gives birth to ugly babies, am I even ready for this, what if he dumps me, but do I really want this…”
When there are no more what ifs left to what if about, you give up and go home to your cold bed (because you were so undecided you couldn’t choose who to hook up with). Or you go and attend the third wedding of an ex in two years.
Here’s simple advice for you; maybe start by limiting your options.