The month of love is here and in-house love and agony maven, Irene The Siren is here to set the sirens wailing! She will take you through the month taking on deeper matters of the heart. Today she takes you through the troubles of cheating partners. Have you cheated or been cheated on? Don’t confess! Just read on!
They have dug into lovers’ flesh like jiggers and they stay there irritating, giving them sleepless nights. I’m talking about sayings like, “Once a cheat always a cheat,” “All men cheat” or “Cheating is a choice,” et al. All these words are supposed to help us make some sense after being cheated on but do they really help?
Some ladies have succumbed to their cheating men to the point of even priding themselves in it, “My man goes out and cheats but he always comes back to me,” you hear them say. What happens after cheating is what directs the future of the relationship. Cheating is most times considered the ultimate deal breaker, but a lot of couples have moved past it and gone on to flourish without reoccurrence.
More often than not, women are faced with the desire to salvage the relationship as soon as possible so as to escape the pain. They fear that if they stayed too long grieving, it might spell doom or they might push the man further away. This behavior only shows that you’re afraid of losing your man- a cheap kind of forgiveness that grooms your man into becoming a serial cheat.
If you intend to stay with your lover, you must understand that it’s going to take some time to move past the infidelity. You must allow yourself enough time to grieve and he must understand and feel your pain as well. No matter how much he’s crushing with guilt, your thoughtful forgiveness will come when it comes.
One other saying that comes with a common misconception is “Make-up sex is the sweetest.” Because of this, people think that sex is the answer to all disputes. Yes, your man can hump you senseless and you forgive him for forgetting your birthday or cancelling a dinner date- but, he can’t hump you into forgetting that he dipped his finger into another ice cream cone.
When forgiveness doesn’t come from the heart, the feeling sticks out like a sore thumb. Your man will feel it and feel pressured into pleasing you which in turn will affect his sexual performance. His poor sexual performance will lead you into thinking that he’s no longer interested in you which will consequently lead to a vicious pack of resentment on both sides.