There are rumours that our members of parliament want to buy a helicopter worth Shs 19.9 billion for the speaker. Well, I believe they are right to do so. In fact every Mp needs a helicopter. These are the ten reasons why each MP deserves a helicopter.
- That “Genda Oguule motooka” song
I guess you have heard that annoying, irritating statement somewhere. It is derived from a song by one Lil’ Puzzle. This artiste goes by a stage name that is puzzling our lil’ MPs. After listening to this song several times, our MPs who own several cars now could be wondering what will set them apart from their less successful OBs and OGs who are borrowing their older cars V8s and Mercs for the weekend. Give them helicopters and this song will go off the charts.
2. Pigs cant fly
Yes, pigs cant fly. If each MP gets a helicopter, our Jobless brotherhood guys who turned delivering yellow-painted pigs at parliament into a job, will become jobless. I mean how will they fly deliver their pigs. Will they hire Karooli to unleash their droppings on the helicopters while in flight?
3. Traffic jam
Traffic jam in Kampala is so thick that our MPs cannot wait for 10 minutes to pass a bill that sees them dodge taxes.
4. Potholes
There are several potholes on the road and the best way to dodge them is by flying. Let those with wings fly after-all they voted.
5. Steady progress
A few years back back our MPs drove cars. It would be a huge accomplishment if they started flying in helicopters.
6. Domestic tourism
It would stimulate local tourism that would help the country get more tourists. Reason? Our MPs would take selfies as they fly from their villages to Parliament and more people would love to visit those upcountry places.
7. New Year, New Me
Why cant our MPs have that “New Year, New Me” celebration with helicopters. They had new year new me with Ipads, new cars and tax free bonuses. Why not helicopters too ?
8. We have oil
We have oil in Bunyoro and we need to start creating demand for that oil. This would be one of the best ways to create that demand.
9. We have money
The reason we are talking about spending this money is because it is there to be spent.
10. Too much negativity down here
People “down here” have too much negativity and the best way to avoid them is to fly over them.
DISCLAIMER
Parliament has squarely dismissed a budding rumor of plans to procure for the Speaker, Rebecca Kadaga an aircraft for her inland and outside movements.
A statement released by the Director of Communication and Public Affairs, Chris Obore instead blamed this development on the government officials involved in the infamous Shs6bn oil cash bonanza.
According to Obore, the bureaucrats who championed the sharing of the money realized from the tax battle between Uganda and British oil company, Heritage, want to divert the attention of the public from the currently hot debate.
Therefore the above ten reasons are just for satire and humour reasons.