Ten ways how Odonga Otto could save Uganda’s ailing movie industry

There is a lot of latent talent idling away till a moment of truth sparks it off and we don’t even recognise it. As for this week, most of you might have not recognised the acting genius in Hon. Odonga Otto that could earn Uganda an Oscar if he had merely a five second appearance in a movie. Yes, within just five seconds Odonga Otto will shout, threaten, and cry. Even the likes of Morgan Freeman or Forest Whitaker will not take this competition lightly. Here are ten ways how that “Odonga Otto moment” could save Uganda’s ailing movie industry.

  1. Represent

Odonga Otto is the representative of Aruu county in parliament. A tiny portion of Uganda gave him that mandate. However in Odonga’s mind,he represents the “People of Acholi and Northern Uganda”. When he threatens, he does not talk about Aruu constituency but the entire Northern Uganda! With such an inflated desire to represent an entire tribe and a whole region of a country, if our actors had the same desire, East Africans and Africans at large would be watching our movies.

2. Cry

Ugandans seem to have lost the strength to cry. No matter how hard January is a flogging a Ugandan, he won’t shed a tear. Even the most toxic teargas cant make Ugandans cry. Such thick skin! One of the reasons viewers are not impressed with most Ugandan series is that the actresses or actors simply shout with mouths wide open instead of crying. You never see the tears. No chic wants to waste that mascara! They value the make up over career. Odonga Otto has no reason to hold back tears.

3. Emotions

Did you see how the guy was emotional? He could have thumped somebody! Now right there is raw top notch talent for the silver screens. Why are our actors so numb that even when a husband finds the wife in their matrimonial bed, the actors first reaction is,”Hey, mama baby what are you doing?”. The cheating woman caught red handed replies, “You are back! But you said you were going to take long”. The husband replies, ”Are you sure? What are doing with that man…..” This all happens as the man the woman is cheating with is dressing up and looking for a cologne! Just imagine what Kanyamun…sorry what Odonga would do!

4. Drama

Have love for drama. Look for it even in the saddest moments. Drama has no boundaries including those that offered you a ladder. Even the court room. Make a scene. It’s not a sin.

5. Imagine things.

On the wings of imagination, explore every realm of life. You see when Odonga was at the court, he was imagining himself exhuming hundreds of miles away and transporting the body to Kasangati. If this not creative thinking then tell me!

6. Be random

Make unexpected statements. Shock everybody. That’s the way our movies will sell.

7. Be silly

The problem of Ugandan actors and actresses is that they love to seen as intelligent people. There was a local movie I was watching on TV where a pregnant wife called the husband to come home immediately because she was missing him. The husband responded, ”Sweet heart, according to the weather reports, its going to start raining in the next two minutes and by the time, I reach home, the rain will be falling with such a high velocity that you will not miss me anymore”. Now, that’s a problem! Odonga does not have time for such reasons. He simply shouts,”Besigye…Besigye, how do you allow your wife to come here! As though he paid the dowry.

8. Love the camera

Many Ugandan actors are so camera shy and they keep hiding their faces or staring directly in our faces. It is like they feel they have to be perfect. They make over-rehearsed scenes look so plastic that even when sitting down, an actress will calculate the obtuse angle to which the butt should descend onto the chair. They swing the arm at an acute angle and nothing looks natural. Look here, Odonga never made such calculations. It was the camera hunting for him not vice-versa.

9. Win hearts

Love is everything. Ugandan actors would not be afraid of the lengths they have to go to win hearts of fans. For Odonga Otto’s case his fans are voters somewhere in Aruu.

10. Be you

Most actors are letting us down because they cant be themselves! Be you! Dont force accents

 

DISCLAIMER: This article is purely written for humour and satire reasons. It is a fictional piece of work to entertain and does not reflect the views of this website or the management.

 

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