1. No visitors
This is a rule set by landlords who in their broke days had rats, fleas and bedbugs as their only visitors. Their own chance of having a human visitor was when someone was looking for them to demand their debts.
2. Introduce your visitors
These who set these kind of rule are still mentally and psychologically disturbed that the guy who demanded them in their hustle days could one day knock at the door and may be take away the house.
3. No love-making
There are landlords who are unhappy with tenants making love with their lovers. They feel empty, infuriated as though the person is their child. These are landlords who had no sex in their youth because it was just impossible.
4. Noise levels
Some landlords are irritated by certain level of music sounds blaring out of their tenants residences. These are landlords who never went out to night clubs and the sound of music haunts them.
5. Pay on the exact deadline or get out!
These are landlords who endured blows when they failed to pay 500/- for taxi fare in their broke days. Now that they made it, its revenge time.
6. Don’t talk to my daughters!
These are landlords who are jealous that you could enjoy the kind of things they only dreamt of while hustling.
7. Cleaning rota
If your landlord has a cleaning rota for latrines, bathrooms or compound for various tenants or is overly serous about cleanliness, know that they have history as a cleaner way back so its natural that they still uphold the practices.
8. Visitors limited to two in a day
These are landlords who are afraid and want to limit the chances of people finding out how they accidentally got rich.
9. Time limit
There are those landlords who will not expect you in their house after a certain period of time say midnight. These are landlords who were so broke in their youth that they never went out otherwise they would not behave like this.
10. No cooking chicken or meat after defaulting rent
Some landlords just expect you to starve just because you have not cleared rent. These are landlords who had cold sweet potatoes for lunch, supper and breakfast. The mouthwatering meals haunts their memory
Yes, I am a tenant and most of you landlords suck!
Like Arsene Wenger said,”When you give success to stupid people, it makes them more stupid sometimes and not more intelligent.”
We shall also build, please don’t share this with my landlord!
